Second Presbyterian Church

"Marriage: What Happened!"
October 5, 2003

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Sermons Homepage » Sermons for 2003 » Sermons for October 2003

27^th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year B
by The Rev. Daniel E. Hale, D. Min.

• Job 1: 1, 2:1-10
• (Genesis 2: 18-25)
• Mark 10: 2-16

Well, there they go again - those Pharisees - that is! Don't get me wrong; I'm sure that not all Pharisees were bad, or a pain in the neck. But there was a determined group of them whose goal was to give Jesus a hard time, even kill him - if possible.

What they often did, though, was to try to discredit Jesus and trap him in his own words. They tried to set him up so that whatever answer Jesus gave, he would be in trouble. That's what happened when they asked Jesus whether or not they should pay taxes to Caesar. If Jesus had said, "no," then he would have been arrested for encouraging the people to break the law. If he had said, "yes," then he would have lost credibility with most of the people who were following him and his ministry would have been down the tubes.

Here, the Pharisees were trying to embroil Jesus in a controversy they were having among themselves. The divorce laws in the Torah (first five books of the Bible) were interpreted differently by different groups of Pharisees. They were arguing among themselves about these differences.

One group, the Shammai, held a stricter interpretation about writing out a certificate of divorce. The purpose for finding the wife objectionable could only be adultery. Another group, the Hillel, interpreted the "something objectionable" as being anything about the wife that displeased him. They were the liberals of their day.

So the question to Jesus was: are you part of the Shammai's or are you a Hillil? Jesus gave a wonderful response. He didn't simply answer the questions; he, instead, started asking the Pharisees questions, questions that broadened the issue beyond the controversy among the Pharisees.

"What did Moses Command you?" They responded, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce." (Note how the Pharisees are answering questions, not Jesus!). Jesus pressed the point further, "Yes Moses allowed this, DUE TO YOUR HARDNESS OF HEART. But from the beginning of creation, God made them Male and Female (Gen. 1: 27)."

Jesus continued, "For this reason a man shall leave his Father and Mother and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Gen. 2: 24)"

Jesus then completed his response with a statement that many of us today may find increasingly uncomfortable. "What, therefore, God has joined together let not man separate." And when Jesus later explained this to his disciples he stated that when one remarries, he/she commits adultery against the former wife or husband.

These are not easy words for us to hear today, and one commentator of this passage directly discounted these words of Jesus as not relevant for today. It was not clear to me as to why he discounted Jesus' words, except they make a lot of people uncomfortable.

We all know that maintaining a viable marriage takes concerted effort from husband and wife. In our own modern way, we are like the Pharisees who are arguing over what is the right way to divorce. And we all know the statistics: one marriage in two will ends divorce.

• We are all familiar with marriages that may be formally intact, but are really two people who have already emotionally divorced.
• We all know, or have heard about marriages in which there is domestic violence and one of them, usually the wife, is living in danger and fear for her life.
• We all know of couples who married very young, often in their teens, and have concluded that it was a mistake, that only divorce can rectify the mistake.
• We all know of someone who married to escape a bad home situation (alcohol and/or abuse) only to discover that she has jumped from the frying pan into the fire.
• We all know of someone who is married to a spouse who is repeatedly unfaithful.

In almost every single marriage the man and woman believed that they were making the right - yes, even life-long - choice, 'TIL DEATH US DO PART.

WHAT HAPPENED; WHAT WENT WRONG?
If marriage is instituted by God, what happened? There are movements today, especially among those who lean toward the left, who are proposing alternatives to the institution, as we commonly know it. We can react to these proposals in fear and even blame them for the "decline" of the institutions of marriage and family. This is how our more conservative brothers and sisters tend to react towards the radical left.

But those who make these radical, alternative proposals to marriage aren't the cause for what's going wrong; they are part of the SYMPTOMS that something already IS wrong! They are not the cause; they are just one of the SIGNS that something is terribly wrong with our culture and its effects upon marriages. The Left are part of the response to the fact that marriage - that which is instituted by God - HAS TOO OFTEN NOT BEEN FULFILLED IN THE MANNER GOD INTENDED IT TO BE!

In other words, Jesus was right, because of our hardness of heart divorce happens. Bad things happen even in institutions that God Himself ordained. You have heard it said, "bad things happen to good people." It is also true that bad things happen even in good, God-given institutions, such as sin. It can be summed up in on word - SIN.

Ever since sin entered God's good creation things have been going wrong, terribly wrong. Marriage, as an institution, is a good example.

• It was designed to provide human companionship and intimacy.
• It was designed for safe, sexual enjoyment by husband and wife.
• It was designed, in part, to provide a secure and loving environment for rearing children.

In Genesis 1: 27 we learn that it was even designed to help us to understand the community and companionship that actually reflects the image of God in us - male and female!

But things go wrong, terribly wrong, so some very vocal people want to marginalize marriage and provide other options as the solution to the problem. What is not understood is that whatever solution is created by us humans will also have flaws and can go wrong. Living together, living in a commune, living with a same sex partner all are as flawed by sin even if you did not believe that they were sin in the first place!

I am not here to condemn you for whatever your situation happens to be today. You may be single, you may be gay, you may be divorced, you may be divorced and remarried, you may be miserable in your marriage, you may be secretly miserable in your marriage, or you may be very happy and contented in your marriage. That can happen, too.

Regardless of your experience, you are invited by Jesus to look at your situation, to confess it honestly to Jesus Christ, repent where repentance is necessary, and start working toward living in your marriage, or situation as Christ would NOW have you live.

None of our situations, regardless of what it may be, is beyond the boundaries and power of the love redemption of Jesus Christ. If you have sinned, then through Christ you are forgiven. It is never too late to renew your relationship with God and to turn it over to God's guidance.

I personally believe that God wanted us to marry only one time. But we live in a world in which marriages sometimes break up. Evil and brokenness have marred the good creation of God, even His plans for marriages. Often it is because evil forces are stronger than we are when we try to do it without God. And so we need to seek God's powerful help and love and grace to seek his strength and forgiveness. And for those here who have experienced the pain of a broken marriage, God doesn't want you to be left out of His grace; He doesn't desire for you to be left alone!

Finally, today is WORLD COMMUNION SUNDAY. Today our sisters and brothers in Jesus Christ from all over the world are coming to the table of Christ to be nourished by him. Though not directly related to our discussion (or monologue) on marriage, we are all reminded and invited to confess our dependence and need upon the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ. Today, we are all, all over the world, are coming before the table of the Lord and expressing our need for the love and grace of our risen Lord and Savior. So, let us prepare, and come to the table, hungry for the nourishment that our spirits can only receive from Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Rev. Daniel E. Hale, D. Min.